Inaugural Post, or, "What do you mean, secret rulers of the world?"

So in a moment of honesty truth madness inspiration I wrote the following article for our class wiki...I suspect the wiki is not truly meant to be Uncycloped-ish, though, so I shall have to come up with something more prosaic than this for that assignment. Oh, well. :)

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Contents:
1 - Librarianship
     1.1 - Reference Librarians
     1.2 - Children's Librarians
     1.3 - Cataloguers
     1.4 - Systems Librarians
2 - See Also
3 - Further Reading
4 - External Links

1 - Librarianship

Librarianship's inherent power and central importance to the fabric of reality has been observed by many shrewd and perceptive individuals throughout history. In recent years, Spider Robinson has remarked upon it, briefly but succinctly ("Librarians are the secret masters of the universe. They control information. Never piss one off.") and of course Erica Olsen has written her now-famous landmark tract revealing the true nature of the profession as seen from within ("Why You Should Fall to Your Knees and Worship a Librarian.")

1.1 - Reference Librarians

Reference librarians embody the most feared aspect of librarians on the face of this planet. Despite the heroic efforts of cataloguers, systems librarians, and other behind-the-scenes types to wrest away the coveted SLOE title (Scariest Librarians On Earth) for themselves, the prize continues to go to reference librarians each year without fail. Some librarians not working in reference have noted - quietly - that reference librarians remain the undisputed champions only because children's librarians perform their subversive roles with such cunning stealth. However, most prefer to maintain a discreet silence on that subject; those unwise enough to speak such words aloud are generally never seen again.

Reference librarians often have recourse in their work to such venerable tomes as the Uncyclopedia, traditionally used by librarians to spread true enlightenment throughout the multiverse. The penalty for use by reference librarians of so-called reference tools promoting propaganda, such as the elaborate web of lies found in the much-reviled (and properly catalogued under Fiction) Encyclopedia Britannica, is revocation of one's licence to practice librarianship.

1.2 - Children's Librarians

Children's librarians are, of course, charged with the vital task of molding the minds of the young to worship librarians in the properly orthodox manner. Storytimes featuring such insidious books as "Library Lil" are followed with group sessions practicing the correct way to fall to one's knees, among other indoctrinating strategies that may not be revealed here.

1.3 - Cataloguers

The people who put you in your place. No, really. Feel misplaced? Go see a cataloguer for counselling. They'll take one look at you, seeing through to your soul - a special cataloguer power - and immediately know where you truly belong in the world. (And if you're lucky, they'll even put you there, but most likely they'll choose a place for you that advances their Secret Plots. Still, you'll no longer be misplaced.)

1.4 - Systems Librarians

[this section censored in order to maintain the deep secrecy in which this type of librarianship must be shrouded for the sake of the universe]

2 - See Also

[[stubs]]
Library School
Sith Lords

3 - Further Reading

Rex Libris
Unshelved
Revolting Librarians Redux
Library Lil

4 - External Links

Spider Robinson
Erica Olsen
Uncyclopedia
Wikipedia on Uncyclopedia